Be patient and gentle with yourself. It probably took a long chain of events to embed your beliefs about you. Unwinding those beliefs might take some time.

It’s ok to not act like an extrovert. It really is! I spent decades suffering from killer headaches, food addictions, depression, withdrawals, and severe lack of self-worth, mostly because of adults with good intentions. I was a wolf wearing a sheep’s coat. Not only did it not fit me, it didn’t change the fact that I was still a wolf.  (By the way,I happen to admire wolves…)

Maybe you as an introvert have a similar story. Maybe you tried your best to change your personality, acted all loud, or funny, or abrasive because – well – that’s what you have to do to get on in the world.

Only problem is, that’s like trying to build a house with a toolbox full of cooking supplies. Can you relate to any of these scenarios:

Working at a place were everyone is a “team player”

Feeling obligated to brag about your accomplishments

The need to act loud in order to be recognized

Expected to think on your feet

Feeling odd because you don’t share your personal stuff

Being steamrolled by loud and assertive people

Being seen as less intelligent – when of course the opposite is true – because you don’t flaunt your thoughts and ideas

Unable to BS and “schmooze” in order to connect and network


Being an introvert is your superpower – did you know that? Making the most of your quiet strengths is the key. Your power, wisdom, and thinking ability are internal.

You can make a huge impact when you focus your strengths. The best thing? No one ever sees it coming. But there you are, busting out in the spotlight when you do!


Let’s take an inventory of your superpowers –

You make time to be quiet and reflective

You plan things out, weighing various options

You’re a fantastic listener

You’re immensely caring

Expressing yourself in writing might be one of your powers

And – this is important these days – you likely engage in social media in a mindful and productive manner

Are you starting to see where you have an edge over extroverts in many ways? Please don’t misunderstand – I appreciate extroverts – openly admire them – but we’re not them, and we need to focus on who we are and how to claim our righteous value.

Think of your life force as a tiny but persistent stream of dripping water. Slow….relentless… It can split apart a huge rock, just by doing its thing… after day after day. So maybe it takes a little longer to get “there,” wherever “there” is for you. But you will make it.

So start by promising yourself no more excuses….no more apologies….no more bashing yourself for being different. You’re you for a reason – to make a positive difference just by being you.

The depression I felt (mentioned earlier) was because I wanted so much to be influential…..but kept slamming into a brick wall no matter what I tried. The Ugly Duckling was me. She thought she was ugly for not looking like a duck. No one told her she was a beautiful, exquisite swan. 

And so are you.